A Dainty Sip of Rare Completeness

Last night, I went out again with someone I had met almost a month ago. As it happened, when I first met her, she was due to go away, so it would be a good three weeks at least before we'd get to hang out again. As chance would have it, now that she's back, I'm due to leave. Our third time out together may well be next month. She doesn't seem bothered by the whole one date per month thing. She says we have all the time in the world to get to know one another. Needless to say, things are starting out slowly with her, but I should know enough by now not to be deceived. Some of the slowest starts have led to major escalations in a short space of time. She offered to give me a Harry Potter book and a book about Dublin, so maybe that's a good sign, I don't know. While my third time out with her may be a while, it was only a few hours before I went out again last night. Saturday night is "going out on the town" night. Irene has now more or less moved in with Stephanie in Medford, and by "more or less moved in", I mean she sometimes sleeps there. Last night for example, she slept there.

I had gone over to Stephanie's place and we hung out, watching some television for a bit. When Irene arrived, the vodka popped open, and before heading out, Irene got a head start.

Stephanie drove downtown and she parked in a garage not far from Beacon Hill and Government Center. We walked through Fanuiel Hall, looking for cool places to go. We finally settled on the Black Rose. Stephanie and Irene marched straight upstairs. I've been to the Black Rose, but not upstairs. We took turns buying rounds. Stephanie happened to meet some guy named Brian. As they talked, I chatted with Irene about Germany, animatronics, and Barack Obama, and by animatronics and Barack Obama, she means that I remind her of an animatronic Barack Obama.

I caught the end of the game and after the Red Sox won in extra innings, the live band played "Sweet Caroline". For the uninitiated, Neil Diamond's song is played near the end of Red Sox games. Nobody is quite sure how that tradition started, but as far as I know, the New York Rangers are the only other professional sports franchise that pipes the tune throughout the arena near the end of games, especially if they are winning.

Irene, on the other hand, was a little bit of salt and sweetness. Impressive, given that she wasn't even drinking a margarita. They say vodka connects people, and the over the course of the evening, it connected her. As I leaned against the bar, she leaned on me, often putting her arm on me in various spots, which I think was just her way of trying to find my failsafe switch to shut me down (I may be animatronic, but I have no off switch) or to prevent her from falling down or both.

She met a guy that intrigued her. As we stood there, she pointed and said, "Hey, it's Jim Gaffigan". The guy did look a lot like Jim Gaffigan. She talked to him for a bit, but then Jim Gaffigan slowly meandered off, probably in search of some hot pockets. After sitting on the sofa for a bit with Irene, I thought she was doing a lot better. She went to the ladies room and when she emerged, she headed straight for the exit. Stephanie was still talking with Brian at the bar. She looked at me and at Irene and just gave a look that essentially said, "Excuse me...Neil? Where is she going?" I gestured back, "I really have no idea, but I'm going to make sure she doesn't get hit by a bus or something."

Irene very nearly did just that. I literally had to pull her in and away from the street. She then leaned back on the hood of someone's parked car and at that point, she was all but gone. Amazingly, she wasn't passed out entirely. She was still quite responsive. There were no fewer than twenty-five people who passed by doing one of several things; laughing, pointing, asking if she's okay, etc. "Man, that's a tough night, huh?" said one guy as he passed by in a cab. "Is she okay?" said another one. "Is she dead?" a few people asked. "She's fine," I said, and Irene proved me a teller of truth by giving a thumbs up. Two guys thought it funny to whiz on the sidewalk, but they didn't think it was so funny when Boston's Finest drove by and yelled out, "Hey...you...get over here!" At that moment, some other guy came over and laughed. He told me, "I've been arrested for a lot less than that". In the meantime, I texted Stephanie, trying to tell her our whereabouts. "Defcon freaking One...excuse me Neil...I repeat, Neil...this is not a drill...", I texted her. She texted back, still trying to find us. Finally, she spotted us and then told me she'd go get the car. Irene got a bit sick before Stephanie arrived, but it could have been worse. I helped Irene into the car, and I saw Brian in the front seat with Stephanie.

We all returned safely to Stephanie and Irene's place. Irene pretty much crashed right away while Brian and Stephanie munched on Rolos. She whisphered to me how much she liked Brian. I told Stephanie at the start of the evening, that she had to give at least two guys her number. She didn't quite get the two guys, but this one would do. I left the two of them and then went home. She has Brian and Greg now. Well, she doesn't so much have Greg, but she has his laptop and a Harry Potter book...and now Brian. Who could ask for anything more? Stephanie likes to say her life is a veritable shit show, but I seem to think she's doing just fine. Irene will be just fine, too. No worries. It's nothing that a sausage egg McMuffin won't fix. That's why those things were invented! As for me, I'm just fine, too. I have several Harry Potter books, a computer, and a girl who wanted to give me one of her Harry Potter books.

I also, technically still have biology homework, but you know, tsk, details!